Ask a Pastor Column

Q: I’m having a hard time forgiving someone in my life; is there anything in the Bible that can help me? 

The word forgiveness in the Bible is a financial term that refers to the cancellation of a debt. If you sin against someone else, the Bible says that you incur a debt to God, society and the victim of that sin. But forgiveness strikes out that obligation and releases all rights to be repaid for the wrong done. This does not mean that we cannot feel hurt or upset by sin, it does mean that we can no longer seek payback or reparations.

So much for the definition, now how do we do this? If we are struggling to forgive others in our life the best thing to do is to put their sin in perspective by comparing the large debt we have incurred towards God with the (relatively) minor debt incurred by the person who sinned against us. In Matthew 18:20-32 Jesus walked his disciples through this idea. He told Peter that, even though sin does cause a legitimate grievance (all human beings have a fundamental right to be treated fairly), we ought to lay down our right to payback because of the even greater offense that we have all incurred before God. All sin is an eternal offense to the God of heaven and the just punishment for that sin is eternal separation from Him in hell. Despite God’s legitimate grievance against us He chose to show us mercy, compassion, and forgiveness by sending His Son to pay our debt for us. In the light of God’s amazing forgiveness of our eternal debt, he asks us to forgive others of their earthly trespasses. Jesus also explains in no uncertain terms that God is not happy with anyone who accepts mercy and forgiveness for himself while unmercifully withholding forgiveness from others (Mt. 18:31-35)! The basic argument of this passage and others (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13) is that Christians simply cannot afford to withhold forgiveness from others; we need it too much ourselves!

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